Top 5: Most “Extreme” movies
What happens when you do focus group testing by luring X Games fans into a van with free Monster and asking them what they think would make a good movie? You get the the Top 5 Most “Extreme” Movies.
5. Extreme Ops
video://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FUJcIF2y2pk
Plot: A group of “the most insane individuals in extreme sports” find themselves in some sort of abondanded hotel on the top of a mountain and set about making the most awesome snowboarding movie ever. However, terrorists have also taken up residence in the hotel and the two groups become entangled in a conflict because the terrorists prefer skiing. No, they’re selling weapons or some shit and the snowboaders are witnesses.
Extreme Factor: Calling yourself “one of the most insane individuals on earth”, breaking into and partying in abandoned hotels, using snowboards to kill people, random motocycling, snowboarding behind a train, jumping out of a ski lift, blowing up helicopters with ski ropes, outrunning avalanches.
4. The Fast and the Furious
video://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XG82JNkknTs
Plot: Vin Diesel and crew are greasemonkeys/hijackers by day and street racers by night and Paul Walker goes undercover to stop them. However Vin Diesel’s charisma and Jordana Brewster’s, um, “charm” make him become more and more involved in the underground world.
Extreme Factor: Using Nitrous Oxide to go into hyperspace, Going to an event called “Race Wars”, playing extremely loud hip-hop/metal at all times, defying the laws of physics, shifting at least 30 times during a race, constantly zooming in on engine parts like it’s CSI (which ironically would feature street racing in an episode, but that’s a list for another time.)
3. Torque
video://www.youtube.com/watch?v=64VpK_epy_o
Plot: Biker Cary Ford is framed by an old rival and gang leader for the murder of Trey’s (Ice Cube) brother. Ford is now on the run trying to clear his name of the murder with Trey and his feared gang looking for blood.
Extreme Factor: Torque gets a lot of mentions on being one of the worst “Fast and the Furious” ripoffs, and even that’s saying something. Take a boring plot, boring characters, stupid biker stereotypes, Ice Cube picking up a paycheck, and “action” sequences so ridiculous that they take awfulness to a new level. An example? The last “race” through rush-hour downtown LA that looks straight out of a video game. (Thanks for the write-up Brian!)
2. Point Break
video://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d4-Fso2EZq8
Plot: Keanu Reeves must infiltrate a gang of surfing bank robbers, led by Patrick Swayze, but becomes more involved than he should in their world.
Extreme Factor: More surfing than maybe even Mccoughney could handle, Skydiving, night surfing, engaging in beach fights with Anthony Keidis, getting paid by the FBI to learn how to surf, saying “Brah” a lot, playing beach football, taking someone to the edge, being “young, dumb and full of cum”, surfing typhoon created waves, engaging in one of the greatest foot chases ever.
1 xXx
video://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7T370sKmffM
Plot: Xander Cage is perhaps the most extreme person on earth and is recruited by the CIA to become a spy. He must stop a group called Anarchy 99 from using a robotic submarine from launching chemical weapons.
Extreme Factor: Being friends with Tony Hawk, Mat Hoffman and Brian Deegan, having a skate park in your apartment, stealing a Corvette and driving it off a bridge for youtube, calling Samuel L. Jackson “scarface” and not getting your nose punched into your skull, getting pushed out of a low flying cargo plane and saying that you “live for this shit”, escaping from Columbian drug lords on a dirt bike and doing a trick while jumping over a barb wire fence, escaping from the enemy base on a dirt bike and doing a Superman to shoot a guard, Causing and then outrunning an avalanache, using a speargun to attach yourself to the evil robotic submarine and ejecting out of a car to go after it, having Rammstein perform in your movie.