Top 5 Knife Fights
Anyone can throw together a good gun fight but a good knife fight is something different. It takes choregraphy and lots of skill. In honor of Cobra’s Night Slasher and his ridiculous knife we’re going to countdown what we think are the top 5 knife fights.
5. Timecop
video://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2qrmi9x1DII
Timecop’s fight starts out with Van Damme (and his fantastic mullet) getting awakened by the late Ron Silver’s goon squad. One of them is brandishing a couple of crazy looking knives along with a taser. Van Damme manages to get one of the knives away from the goon and a quick battle begins. Of course, Van Damme can’t go for very long without kicking someone so the feet start flying near the end. He then pulls a Jason Bourne and pulls out a towel and uses that to land some kicks to the face. Eventually a water tank is spilled and the goon is knocked to the ground. The other goon manages to get the taser and fires it at the water to electrocute Van Damme. They didn’t count on Van Damme’s balls of steel however as he executes a full split on the counter and the first goon is the one shocked instead. Talk about Van Dammage.
4. Resident Evil 4
video://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WzuMAAJ1ryo
This one is cheating just a tad bit as it’s not from a movie, it’s from a video game. It’s still one of the most awesome knife fights I’ve ever seen though. Ex-Raccoon City officer Leon Kennedy is in Spain, working for the secret service to find the President’s kidnapped daughter, Ashley Graham. Deep in the enemy complex he runs into an old army buddy, Jack Krauser. It turns out Krauser was the one who kidnapped Ashley in exchange for getting some body enhancements courtesy of the mysterious Las Plagas virus. An epic knife fight occurs between the two with enough slow motion and flips to give John Woo a hard on. The tension is raised as you have to press certain buttons when they pop up or Leon is toast.
3. The Hunted
video://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CW4JxAsl6Jk
The Hunted gets some bonus points for supposedly having realistic knife fighting tactics used by special forces. In the movie Benicio Del Toro plays Aaron Hallum, a special forces soldier who snaps and flees into the Pacific Northwest forest. He then goes on a killing spree, massacring hunters in the area. The one man who might be able to stop him is the man who trained him, L.T. Bonham, played by Tommy Lee Jones. After several close calls and chases, the two face off near the base of a waterfall using knives made from resources in the area. An extremely brutal and realistic knife battle ensues.
2. Under Siege
video://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mGNUjV1fvt8
Tommy Lee Jones shows up again, this time playing the evil Strannix facing off against Steven Seagal’s Casey Ryback. After taking back most of the hijacked USS Missouri (and blowing up Gary Busey), Casey sets out to find Strannix and stop him from lauching nukes at Hawaii. After a little back and forth about how America may or not fuck people over a ridiculous (and pretty one sided) knife fight takes place between the two. Casey manages to cut or stab Strannix about 4 or 5 times while the best Strannix can do is give Casey a little cut above the eyebrow. Casey overpowers Strannix, pokes one of his eyes out and then stabs him straight through the skull before shoving him into a console. To add the cherry to top of the fight sundae Casey drops the one liner, “Keep the faith Strannix”.
1. Commando
video://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tj1L94hM8eY
If you didn’t see this coming then welcome to the site for the first time. How can it possibly get any better than the final battle between John Matrix and Bennett? It starts out with Matrix saying, “Let’s Party!” and Bennett possibly jizzing in his pants over the though of stabbing Matrix with a knife. The two then battle it out using not just their knives but steel furnace doors, pipes, electrical fences and more. Eventually, when it becomes clear that Bennett is no match for the killing machine that is John Matrix, Bennett pulls out an Uzi and remarks that he’s going to shoot Matrix in the balls. Matrix answers this by ripping a steam pipe off the wall and throwing it through Bennett’s torso. Steam continues to pour out of it and Matrix blesses us with the classic line “Let off some steam, Bennett”. He is then reunited with his daughter Alyssa Milano and heads off into the sunset with her and Rae Dawn Chong.
*BONUS* How to win a real life knife fight with Mark “Animal” MacYoung
video://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gGkJ5ZvhhBc