In this edition of The Lone Gunmen rewatch, Frohike, Byers and Langley get a lead on a notorious Nazi war criminal who might be hiding out in New Jersey.
The episode kicks off with an extremely well done parody of a 40’s newsreel detailing the notorious “Poisoner of Alsace”, an unknown murderer of French Resistance members who killed using poisoned pastries. We then cut to the main suspect, Madame Davos in WWII giving her son to a German soldier on a bicylce, carrying him off to parts unknown.
Cut to the present day and the Gunmen are getting more and more annoyed by their well meaning but dim witted new partner, Jimmy Bond, who is screwing up Frohike’s carefully crafted filing system, “washed” Langley’s keyboard by pouring water on it and more. Frohike is ready to fire Jimmy, which would mean they would have no money again, but they get an intriguing offer that distracts them from the Jimmy problem. A man named Michael Wilhelm arrives at the Lone Gunmen’s lair and tells them that he needs their help catching the Poisoner of Alsace, who he believes is a woman named Anna Haag, who has recently placed a personal ad in the local New Jersey paper looking for her son. Wilhelm believes that Frohike would be the best choice to pretend to be her son, as her purported lover looks exactly like Frohike. The guys accept the case and set about building a disguise for Frohike and they head off to New Jersey to find out if Mrs. Haag is the Poisoner.
Unfortunately for Frohike, the main way the guys figure out to identify if Haag is the Poisoner is by check her backside for a birthmark that all members of the Davos family have, which is in the shape of Germany. Upon arriving at the Haag residence, Frohike immediately attempts to check for the birthmark but it turns out he’s looking at the maid. Frohike introduces himself to Mrs Haag and she is overjoyed that her son is apparently back and she sets about hilariously mothering him, including giving him a set of leiderhosen her husband used to wear, gives him a bath, attempts to help him get into shape and, most worrysome to Frohike, offers him a special pastry, which Haag’s maid eats instead and dies. All the while Frohike is trying to keep in contact with the guys and gather evidence. Langley and Byers, meanwhile, have to deal with a nosy neighbor.
Back at the Gunmen HQ, Yves arrives and breaks in to gather some information from the guys computer and finds Jimmy recreating Risky Business. After getting over his embarrassment, Jimmy stubbornly refuses to let Yves leave until she tells him that Michael Wilhelm is the real son of Madame Davos and has been working as part of secret German group that has spent years killing defectors. He saw the ad and sent the Gunmen in as bait in case there were any traps and intends to leave with his mother and leave no evidence. Yves and Jimmy head to Wilhelm’s hotel room so that Yves can confirm his identity and, in usual Yves fashion, claim a $1 million bounty on his head. Jimmy is supposed to be acting as her lookout but he gets distracted and Yves just barely manages to escape Wilhelm’s hotel room while he’s busy on the phone.
Yves and Jimmy fill Byers and Langley in on what’s going on and Yves tells them that he overheard Wilhelm telling someone, in German, that the Gunmen have been spying on the wrong person and the guys figure out that the nosy neighbor must be the actual Madame Davos. The gang is horrified to see Langley coming from Davos’ backyard, where he took a leak, to find him eating muffins she gave him. Jimmy manages to force Langley to throw up and the guys, with Yves help, knock out Wilhelm when he comes to kill the guys and they make Jimmy up, Mission Impossible style, to look like Wilhelm and pull a con on Madame Davos, where they finally confirm her identity and she’s arrested. Frohike says good bye to Mrs. Haag, who tells him that it felt like she had her son back for the last couple days and the guys head back to the HQ for their next story.
Next week (hopefully), the guys discover What Killed the Water Powered Car?.