The 6th Annual Kick Ass Awards

It’s that time again as Everything Action honors the best and worst from the past year of movies and unlike a certain other set of movie awards *cough* Oscars *cough*, we honor movies you have actually seen and care about.  What will be the Kick Ass Movie of the Year and who will win the coveted Ass Kicker of the Year award?  Read on to find out.

Most Criminal Use of a Mad Man Cast Member: Sucker Punch

It take a lot of effort to make Jon Hamm look schlubby

Best Use of Magic Hats: The Adjustment Bureau

Best Cameo: Wolverine in X-Men: First Class

Most Disgusting Characters in a Kids Movie: Rango

Most Unnecessary Use of 3D: Dolphin Tale

Now imagine that dolphin behind glass...IN 3D!!!!

 Best PSA for Drug Use: Limitless

Best Alien Invasion: Battle: Los Angeles

Most Reverent of Nerd Culture: Paul

Best Score: The Chemical Brothers’ Hanna Score

Best Soundtrack: Drive

Most Weirdly Ambitious Stoner Movie: Your Highness

At Least You Have Italy Award: Dylan Dog: Dead of Night

Dylan Dog is to Italy what David Hasselhoff is to Germany

Best Marvel Movie: Captain America: The First Avenger

Best Fight Scene: The Rock vs Vin Diesel in Fast Five

Best Fucking R Rated Comedy: Horrible Bosses

Franchise that Should Probably End: Pirates of the Caribbean

Best Horrible Endangerment of Children: Super 8

Seriously, How are those kids still alive?

Best and Most Creative Jake Gyllenhaal Deaths: Source Code

Most Bloodthirsty Childhood Hero: Optimus Prime

Optimus played a lot of Mortal Kombat before the film started shooting

Best Revisionist Moon History: Transformers: Dark of the Moon

Sorry Apollo 18, giant alien spaceship are cooler than living moon rocks

Best Supporting Muppet: 80’s Robot

Dumbest Reason for an Alien Invasion: Gold in Cowboys & Aliens

Worst Franchise Reboot: Conan the Barbarian

Most Glaring Continuity Error: A USB thumb drive turning into a 3.5 inch floppy in Colombiana

Most Inaccurate Title: Abduction

Best Mustaches: Killer Elite

Most Likely to Create Germaphobes: Contagion

Most Unnecessary Prequel: The Thing

Concept that Probably Deserves a Better Movie: Time as Currency in In Time

Drunkest Warlord: King Hyperion in Immortals

Only a guy who is completely wasted would wear a helmet like that

Awesomest Stunt: The Burj Khalifa Climb in Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol

Person Most Likely to be Killed Without His Dog: TinTin

Who Finds the Found Footage? Award: Paranormal Activity 3

Creepiest Neighbor: Colin Farrell as Jerry in Fright Night

Hey guy

If It Ain’t Broke, Don’t Fix It Award: Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows

Most Surprisingly Threatening: Ryan Gosling in Drive

Worst Scientific Breakthrough: James Franco’s Alzheimer’s Cure in Rise of the Planet of the Apes

It caused the Ape uprising and killed the entire human population

Lincoln Hawks Memorial Over the Top Award: Drive Angry 3D

Direct to DVD Award Powered by Steven Seagal Lightning Energy: Assassination Games

Jason Statham Award for Excellence in Stathaming: The Mechanic

Ass Kicker of the Year: Magneto (Michael Fassbender) in X-Men: First Class

Kick Ass Movie of the Year: Captain America: The First Avenger

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