The 7th Annual Kick Ass Awards

It’s time once again to celebrate the best of last year in categories that put the Oscars to shame.  You can keep your stodgy, “Best Cinematography” award, we’ll take Ass Kicker of the Year.  Join us as we award that prestigious award along with all the best and the worst that 2012 had to offer, including the Kick Ass Movie of the Year.

“Damn Nature, You Scary!” Award: The Grey

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Most Kick Ass Adaptation of Shakespeare: Coriolanus

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Most Unwelcome Return: Hammer Films with The Woman in Black

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The Scorpion King Award for Best Transition to Acting: Haywire

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Best Telekinetic Rampage: Andrew in Chronicle

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Best Navy Recruitment Video: Act of Valor

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Biggest Taylor Kitsch Disaster: John Carter

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Best Person to Party With: Sam Jones in Ted

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Best Cameo: Liam Neeson in The Dark Knight Rises

Bruce, Have you seen my daughter? She was kidnapped by wolves while touring a Battleship

Bruce, Have you seen my daughter? She was kidnapped by wolves while touring a Battleship

Most Shockingly Great Remake: 21 Jump Street

21 JUMP STREET

Worst Attempt to Edit Violence for a PG-13: Taken 2 (Runners Up: Hunger Games, Red Dawn)

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Best Assault on an Apartment Building: Dredd (Runner Up: The Raid: Redemption)

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“At Least it was Better than the First One” Award: Wrath of the Titans

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Most Insanely Awesome Ending: Cabin in the Woods

I think "Horror Orgy" is the best way to describe it.

I think “Horror Orgy” is the best way to describe it.

Best Kurt Russell Impression: Guy Pearce in Lockout

"Call Me Sna- I mean Snow"

“Call Me Sna- I mean Snow”

Movie Most Resembling a Nic Cage movie not starring Nic Cage: The Raven

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“That’s Enough Tim Burton” Award: Dark Shadows

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Dumbest Adaptation of a Board Game: Battleship

B12 Bitch!

B12 Bitch!

Willenium Award: Men in Black 3

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Most Unanswered Questions: Prometheus

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-x1YuvUQFJ0

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-x1YuvUQFJ0

Worst Adaptation of a Book: Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

"I knew I shouldn't have passed on Spielberg"

“I knew I shouldn’t have passed on Spielberg”

Least Thought out Plan: The Lizard in Amazing Spider-Man

"I'm going to turn everyone in New York City into lizards because...EVIL!"

“I’m going to turn everyone in New York City into lizards because…EVIL!”

Most Disgusting Relationship: Savages Three-Way

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Best PSA for Drug Use: The Bourne Legacy

"Man, I could sure go for some Chems right about now"

“Man, I could sure go for some Chems right about now”

Best Representation of Everything Action: The Expendables 2 Finale

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Best Stop Motion, Family, Horror Movie: ParaNorman

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Most Ridiculous Tom Hardy Voice: The Dark Knight Rises (Runner Up: Lawless)

"Insert your favorite Bane joke here Mr. Wayne"

“Insert your favorite Bane joke here Mr. Wayne”

Most Obscure Occupation to Base a Movie On: Bike Messengers in Premium Rush

"Have to hurry so I can make it to the 10 other movies I'm in this year"

“Have to hurry so I can make it to the 10 other movies I’m in this year”

Franchises that Should Just Combine: Resident Evil/Underworld

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Best Use of Time Travel: Looper

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Thank God It’s Over Award: Twilight Breaking Dawn Part 2

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Most Awkward Cameo by the Director: Tarantino in Django Unchained

"Oy, I'm a bounty hunter mate!"

“Oy, I’m a bounty hunter mate!”

Most Complicated Character Back story: Statham in Safe

He's a former cage fighter/police officer/special forces operative

He’s a former cage fighter/police officer/special forces operative

Most Awesome Tom Cruise movie, Presented by Tom Cruise: Jack Reacher

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Best Villain: Jean Villain in Expendables 2

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Runners Up: Calvin Candie, Silva, Bane

Best Return to Form: Skyfall

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Best Fight Scene: Stallone vs Van Damme in The Expendables 2

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Best Use of Practical Effects: Django Unchained

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Lincoln Hawks Memorial Over the Top Award: Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance

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The Direct to DVD Award Powered by Steven Seagal Lightning Energy Drink: Maximum Conviction

(Runner Up: Universal Soldier: Day of Reckoning)

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The Jason Statham Award for Excellence in Stathaming: The Expendables 2

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Ass Kicker of the Year: Judge Dredd

Runners Up: Mallory Kane, Barney Ross, Hulk, Django, James Bond

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Kick Ass Movie of the Year: The Avengers

Runners Up: Skyfall, The Dark Knight Rise, Dredd, The Expendables 2

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