The 9th Annual Kick Ass Awards

It’s that time of year again with the 9th Annual Kick Ass Awards, the only awards that matter.  Who will be our Ass Kicker of the Year and what will win Kick Ass Movie of 2014, read on to find out:

Best Hercules: The Rock

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Actor Who Deserves a Huge Franchise: Dan Stevens (Runner Up: Frank Grillo)

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Best Failed Attempt at Reviving a Franchise: Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit

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Worst Reboot of a Universal Monster: Dracula Untold (runner up: I, Frankenstein)

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Best Liam Neeson Murder Mystery: A Walk Among the Tombstones (runner up: Non-Stop)

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Most Instantly Loveable New Disney Character: Baymax (runner up: Groot)

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Most Unnecessary Remake: Robocop

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Worst Attempt to Replicate Taken: 3 Days to Kill

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Best Animated Movie (Despite what the Oscars think): The Lego Movie

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Worst Frank Miller inspired sequel: Sin City: A Dame to Kill For

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Best Backup Singers: Ray Liotta, Hornswoggle, Danny Trejo, Jermain Clement and Josh Groban in Muppets Most Wanted:

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Biggest Crime Against Everything Action: Sabotage

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Most “Senses Shattering” Comic Book Movie Event: The Destruction of SHIELD in Captain America: The Winter Soldier

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Cast Most Likely Tranquilized During Filming: Transcendence

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Joel Schumacher Award: The Amazing Spider-Man 2

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Most Welcome Return: Godzilla

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Most Brutal Post-Apocalypse: X-Men: Days of Future Past

Best Movie No One Saw: Edge of Tomorrow

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Most Hilariously Meta: 22 Jump Street

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Best Motion Capture Performance: Andy Serkis in Dawn of the Planet of the Apes

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Best Fan Service: Angry Video Game Nerd: The Movie

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Best Soundtrack: Guardians of the Galaxy

Biggest Improvement from the Original: The Purge: Anarchy

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Best Expendables Moment: Harrison Ford, Jet Li and Arnold Sharing a Chopper

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Creepiest Character: Lou Bloom in Nightcrawler

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Movie that Twister is Still Better Than: Into the Storm

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Umbrella Corporation Award for Worst Evil Plot: The Maze Runner

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Movie Most in Need of GPS: TMNT

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Just Plain Weird Award: Tusk

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Best Excuse for Abandoning Your Children:Interstellar

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Most Hardcore Parkour: Brick Mansions

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“Just Get A Divorce Already” Award: Gone Girl

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Worst Movie Based on a Board Game: Ouija

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Best Use of Propaganda: Mockingjay Part 1

That’s Enough Kirk Cameron Award: Saving Christmas

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Most Mind Numbingly Awful Movie of the Year: Transformers: Age of Extinction

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Jason Statham Award for Excellence in Stathaming: The Expendables 3

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Lincoln Hawks Memorial Over the Top Award: The Raid 2

Steven Seagal Direct to DVD Award, Sponsored by Lightning Energy: Enemies Closer

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Ass Kicker of the Year: John Wick (Runners Up: Steve Rogers, Rama, Barney Ross)

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Kick Ass Movie of the Year: Guardians of the Galaxy (Runners Up: Captain America: The Winter Soldier, The Lego Movie, Godzilla)

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