“Home Alone 2: Lost in New York”
Product: The Talkboy.

You thought it was safe to be an abandon young boy in New York?

The Home Alone series is based on the crazy idea that a child can live on his own without supervision from his parents and fight crime at the same time. The first film created a generation that believed being abandoned and forgotten by your parents is a fun filled opportunity to live the good life. That is if you lived in a nice suburban community and had rich parents that can’t figure out what home security does for a home. For many of us who didn’t experienced reckless childhood, we had to demand our parents to either love us unconditionally or buy us shit that will make up for it.

Home Alone 2 takes what should be a textbook example of child neglect and takes it to a whole new level of stupid. The first movie’s gimmick was how cool it would be to be left alone in your own house; this time the gimmick is to show you how super cool it is to be abandoned in a different city. Kevin’s tool to surviving in New York isn’t a pocket knife or some sort of communication device. It’s a tape recorder, but not just any plain tape record you see professionals use. It’s a TalkBoy! The most kid friendly recording device that recorded your own audio and prove you weren’t a tool (but it totally did!). See, before Kevin’s parents have time to explain why they have such shitty parenting skills, Kevin is recording with the coolest looking tape record any six year old has ever seen. Remember how suave Kevin was when he records himself? Talking to the only thing in his house that will listen to him. His only friend. The Talkboy is Kevin’s only companion that isn’t a homeless person or a pedophile. So by the movie’s defaults, the TalkBoy ruled.

...Talk.to.me Kevin..tell..me..your..secrets..

As the story progress, Kevin uses his TalkBoy to solve some of his problems, usually by slowing down an audio track to mimic a robot fat person. He used it once to comment credit card fraud! By the 90’s movie standards it wasn’t hard to trick hotel works, the police, your family, and the U.S government if you needed to. This is the reason why half the movies made back then could never, never ever be remade again. (Or can they?)

Here’s a little history: the TalkBoy did not technically exist before Home Alone 2. It was the insane amount of demands from consumers to have this thing for their children. Tiger Electrics just happen to have a few models lying around in a warehouse, and about a few months after the release of the film the TalkBoy was magically in stores for the Holidays.

Bonus: The TalkBoy commercials; it teaches you how to blackmail!

“Space Jam”
Product: Michael Jordan.

Behold Jordan's bounty from Space

This is one of these special movies that only a few individuals could pull of with such grace that after filming they can still sleep at night. Michael Jordan knew how to milk his career. He was the unstoppable figure on the basketball courts, told athletes what to eat and wear, and starred in a ridicules theme basketball game. To add to the Jordan force, he was made the star of Space Jam. This movie was based on someone’s experience of flipping through a basket ball game and an episode of Looney Tunes. The indecision of one man surprisingly turns out to be three men; Leo Benvenuti, Steve Rudnick, Timothy Harris; all who probably had help from children to write the story. The plot of the Space Jam is exactly what you would picture if a small child had to explain why Michel Jordan returned to basket ball in 1996, Politics, money issues and adult personal reasons are never brought up; instead the reason why Jordan came back to his love of basket ball was the needs cartoon characters from the 40’s. (An era that didn’t take too kindle to folks like Michel Jordan).

To keep this a family movie, Bugs Bunny and the gang somehow all knew about Michael’s abilities; from playing basket ball and giving motivational speeches, and referencing his career as a way to fill plot holes. Space Jam is a very conditional movie because you had to know about Michael Jordan before you starting watching it. For example, take the worst basket ball educated friend or female you know. My bet would be they would know about Space Jam and Michel Jordan, but can’t figure out their own home team or what a jump ball means. Logically, Space Jam should have been a more violent movie if Bugs Bunny knew to team up with MMA fighters. Here’s hoping for Space Jam 2: The Octagon.

To quickly refresh some people’s memories, here’s the trailer.

Check back later for an all new edition of… THE CHRIS CONTINGENCY.

Award show season is upon us once again with last night’s Golden Globes being handed out for TV and Movies.  Check out the winners below and let the “____ should have won” discussions commence!

• Best Supporting Actress in a Motion Picture- Mo’Nique for Precious
• Best Actress in a TV series, Comedy- Toni Collette for The United States of Tara
• Best Supporting Actor in TV series- John Lithgow for Dexter
• Best Animated Film- Up
• Best Actor, Drama- Michael C. Hall for Dexter
• Best Actress, Drama- Julianna Marguiles for The Good Wife
• Best Original Song- The Weary Kind from Crazy Heart
• Best Original Score- Up
• Best Actress in a Motion Picture, Comedy or Musical- Meryl Streep for Julie and Julia
• Best Screenplay- Up in the Air
• Best Foreign Film- The White Ribbon by Michael Haneke
• Best TV Series, Drama- Mad Men
• Best Actor in a TV Series, Comedy- Alec Baldwin for 30 Rock
• Best Supporting Actress in a TV Series- Chloe Sevigny for Big Love
• Best Supporting Actor in a Motion Picture- Christoph Waltz for Inglourious Basterds
• Best Director- James Cameron for Avatar
• Best TV Series, Comedy- Glee
• Best Picture, Comedy or Musical- The Hangover
• Best Actress in a Motion Picture, Drama- Sandra Bullock for The Blind Side
• Best Actor in a Motion Picture, Comedy or Musical- Robert Downey Jr for Sherlock Holmes
• Best Actor in a Motion Picture, Drama- Jeff Bridges for Crazy Heart
• Best Picture, Drama- Avatar

September

9/11

9- Tim Burton produces this animated movie about nine sack dolls who must battle evil machines after humanity is destroyed.  The animation looks amazing and the voice cast is great too.

9/18

The Informant- Steven Soderbergh is directing this comedy/thriller about real life whistle blower Mark Whitacre, who informed authorities about price fixing at Archer Daniels Midland.  The movie looks hilarious and stars Matt Damon, Joel McHale and Scott Bakula.

Jennifer’s Body- For you horror/comedy fans, you can check out Megan Fox in Jennifer’s Body.  Jennifer is sacrificed in a Satanic ritual by the school rock band, hoping to get a record deal, but she is instead possessed by a demon and starts killing all the boys in the school.  We’re not too excited about this one since it’s written by, in our opinion hack, Diablo Cody.

9/25

The Surrogates- Based on a fantastic graphic novel, Surrogates tells the story of a future where everyone interacts through robotic shells called Surrogates.  When a murder occurs for the first time in years, FBI Agent Greer (Bruce Willis) is called in to investigate, eventually having to physically pound the pavement without his surrogate.  The movie looks all right but I’m worried it might have been substantially dumbed down from the graphic novel.

10/2

Toy Story 1 and 2 3D- Probably one of the best deals of the year, buy one ticket and see Toy Story and Toy Story 2 in 3D.  Pixar apparently went into the original renders of the films and added a second camera angle to generate the 3D effect.  I can’t wait to see how they will look in 3D and revisit Buzz, Woody, Mr. Potato Head, Ham and the rest of the gang.

Zombieland- Those zombies are tenacious, just when you think you’ve seen the last of them, another movie pops up.  This time it’s the horror/comedy Zombieland starring Woody Harrelson.  It looks fun from the trailer but the bar has been set extremely high by Shaun of the Dead so we’ll have to wait and see.

10/16

Black Dynamite- The 70′s return with Black Dynamite, a return to the karate chopping, sucker punching blaxploitation films of that era.  It’s done well at various film festivals and Sony is releasing it wide so that everyone can see Dynamite lay the smackdown on The Man.

Where the Wild Things Are- Expectations are extremely high for Spike Jonze’s take on the classic children’s book.  It looks like he’s captured the feel of the book perfectly and the costumes and creatures look amazing.

10/23

Ong Bak 2: The Beginning- The inhuman Tony Jaa is back with this prequel to Ong Bak.  Expect tons of insane fight sequences, brutal hits and an incomprehensible story.

10/30

The Boondock Saints 2: All Saints Day- The Saints are back in action after they are framed for the murder of a priest in Boston.  All the original cast is back, minus Willem “Firefight!” Defoe, and I’m sure the rabid Saints fans will be camping out in front of theaters to see this one.

So that’s how your fall is shaping up, movie wise.   If you think we missed something or want to comment on any of the above movies be sure to shoot us an e-mail or leave a comment.

There was lots of speculation near the end of the week about who would be wearing the power ring of the Green Lantern.  Bradley Cooper, Ryan Reynolds and Justin Timberlake were all said to be in contention but it appears that Van Wilder has won the role.  The movie will focus on Hal Jordan’s Green Lantern as he and the Guardians of the Universe fend off the likes of Sinestro and Legion.  There’s no word yet about how this would affect a Deadpool movie (also starring Reynolds) but a lot of fans are worried it might not happen.  For a taste of what a Green Lantern movie might be like here’s an awesome fan made trailer from a month or two ago:

If you’re a movie nerd then the answer is probably yes. In the newest issue of Toyfare (and I believe also mentioned on Slashfilm and The Totally Rad Show) a ridiculous amount of classic and cult movies came out in the year 1984.  Take a look and see if you agree.

• Ghostbusters
• Beverly Hills Cop
• Gremlins
• Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
• The Karate Kid
• The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai
• The Last Starfighter
• The Muppets Take Manhattan
• The Neverending Story
• Nightmare on Elm Street
• Police Academy
• Red Dawn
• Revenge of the Nerds
• Sixteen Candles
• Starman
• Star Trek III: The Search for Spock
• The Terminator
• This is Spinal Tap
• Toxic Avenger

All those plus the birth of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, The Macintosh and the Marvel Secret War, that’s tough to beat.  If you have any memories of 1984 (and please share since I was -2 at the time) or if you think there’s a year that beats it let us know.

5. Ray Parker Jr.’s “Ghostbusters” Music Video

The video for Ray Parker Jr.’s theme song is like pure concentrated 80′s being shoved into your eyeballs.  Parker Jr. is hanging out in a house where everything is covered in neon lights, he’s kind of harassing a young woman and random people jump out and yell “Ghostbusters” whenever he asks his pivotal question of “Who ya gonna call?”.  The highlight of the video is near the end as Parker Jr. actually joins the Ghostbusters for a stroll through Times Square.  If that wasn’t enough random 80′s celebrities start popping up to yell “Ghostbusters” culminating in Chevy Chase, which is something you don’t hear every day.

4. Ghostbusters II

There’s a lot of hate out there for a number of 80′s sequels including Back to the Future 2 and this one.  Is it as good as the first? No, but then again what can be?  This one has it’s own charms including bad guy Vigo the Carpathian and his brainwashed henchman Dr. Janosz Poha, played by a scene stealing Peter MacNicol.  Also, they make the Statue of Liberty walk and control it with a NES Advantage.  It is kind of a bummer that they resort to slime guns instead of the trusty proton packs but the original cast is back and it’s still a fun movie.

3. Ghostbusters Toys

There’s probably not a kid out there who didn’t see Ghostbusters and instantly want a Proton Pack.  With the release of the series “The Real Ghostbusters” (which we’ll get to) there came a number of great toys, including replica Proton Packs, Ghost Traps and PKE meters.  There was also a great figure line that included all the Ghostbusters and a number of clever ghosts, including seemingly normal looking people who transformed into hellish demons.  One question though: Where is my Tobin’s Spirit Guide?

2. Ecto Cooler

Not until Surge had a drink developed such a fervent fan base as Ecto Cooler.  An essential in lunch boxes across the world during the late 80′s, early 90′s, Slimer’s drink of choice was a delicious citrus flavored, green tinted drink that was most easily found in juice box form.  The drink was originally just supposed to be a tie in product for The Real Ghostbusters but exploded in sales and lasted with Slimer on the package till 1997.  The drink itself remained Ecto Cooler until 2001 when it was renamed Shoutin Orange Tangerine and in 2006 renamed again to Crazy Citrus Cooler.  In 2007 the drink was finally discontinued but many fans still hold out hope of it being brought back someday.

1. The Real Ghostbusters

Started in 1986 and running until 1991, the Real Ghostbusters was a fantastic cartoon series that continued the adventures of Ray, Peter, Egon and Winston. To avoid legal trouble with Filmation’s Ghostbusters the “Real” was added to the title.  Slimer joined the gang as their sort of mascot/pet as they battled new ghosts every week, including tons from mythology like The Boogeyman, Tiamat, Marduk and even Cthulhu.  The show also featured a great voice cast including Arsenio Hall, Lorenzo Music, Dave Coulier and voice acting greats Maurice LaMarche and Frank Welker.  The show also had a number of smart writers, including future Babylon 5 and comic scribe J. Michael Straczynski, who wrote some of the smartest and darkest episodes in the series.

Another week, another group of new movies out in theaters.  The only really big release is Punisher: War Zone, which looks pretty terrible.  Let’s see what the critics had to say.

Punisher: War Zone

Starring: Ray Stevenson, Dominic West

Director: Lexi Alexander

Plot: Frank Castle’s family is murdered by the mob so he becomes a vigalante known as The Punisher to avenge them.  He faces off against the horribly scarred villain known as Jigsaw.

Rotten Tomatoes Freshness: 12%

Washington Post: “Anyone with a modicum of good sense — or a weak stomach — will take it as a warning to stay the heck away from this literally and figuratively deadly War Zone.”

Noble Son

Starring: Alan Rickman, Mary Steenbergen, Bryan Greenberg

Director: Randall Miller

Plot: Eli Michaelson is a brilliant chemist who wins the Noble Prize.  The night before he is to accept the award is son is kidnapped but Eli refuse to pay the ransom.

RT Freshness: 20%

Entertainment Weekly: “The director, Randall Miller, appears to be trying to cross a bad Elmore Leonard thriller with a bad indie-festival family-angst comedy.”

Cadillac Records

Starring: Adrian Brody, Beyonce, Jeffrey Wright

Director: Darnell Martin

Plot: A biographical look at the rise of record company Chess Records and the artists it represented.

RT Freshness: 67%

Critic Consensus: “What Cadillac Records may lack in originality, it more than makes up for in strong performances and soul-stirring music.”

]]> http://www.everythingaction.com/2008/12/05/admit-one-125/feed/ 0 http://www.everythingaction.com/2008/11/21/new-release-round-up-1121/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=new-release-round-up-1121 http://www.everythingaction.com/2008/11/21/new-release-round-up-1121/#comments Fri, 21 Nov 2008 05:05:43 +0000 Zach http://www.kickassmoviepodcast.com/?p=531

This week is good only if you’re a teenage girl. Being that we are not we could give a shit about the “big” release this week, Twilight. Let’s see what the critics thought and what else is out.

Bolt

Starring: John Travolta, Miley Cyrus

Rotten Tomatoes Freshness: 86%

Critic Consensus: “Bolt is a pleasant animated comedy that overcomes the story’s familiarity with strong visuals and likable characters.”

Twilight

Starring: Kristin Stewart, Robert Pattison

RT Freshness: 47%

Critic Consensus: “Having lost much of its bite transitioning to the big screen, Twilight will please its devoted fans, but do little for the uninitiated.”

Special

Starring: Michael Rapaport, Paul Blackthorne

RT Freshness: 60%

Onion AV Club: “Its ambitions are limited — though at 81 minutes, wisely proportioned — but its heart is in the right place.”

Star Trek

Zach: The first real look at J.J. Abrams Star Trek reboot.  It looks pretty promising, the special effects and space battles look great and Zachary Quinto looks like he’s gonna be great as Spock.  Chris Pine, however, I’m not too sure about as Kirk.  This could be one of the biggest events of 2009, and that’s coming from a non Trek fan.

Brian: I don’t consider myself a “trekker”, “trekkie”, or any kind of Star Trek fanatic. I’ve seen a few of the movies and they were decent. I was just never fully into the aesthetic and aura of it all. J.J. Abrams has made some damn good movies, and even though he’s getting criticized for using younger, “hotter” actors, it’s the right move. Trailer shows a lot of action, and that tied with Abrams’ past movie endeavors make me curious. I will most likely see this some point in theaters.

Michael Bay is Epic:

Michael Bay demands things to be awesome:

Bay presents “A Trip to Wendy’s”:

Bad Boys Trailer:

Will Smith and Martin Lawrence have a misunderstanding at a convience store:

Mike and Marcus escape from the evil dude’s club in an ice cream truck:

The final chase/showdown from Bad Boys:

The Rock trailer:

When Michael Bay wants a car chase, he gets a car chase:

Awesome slow motion abounds in the Alcatraz shower room:

Bay borrows from fellow slow motion afficienando John Woo with a mexican stand off scene:

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, you’d be extremely hard pressed to find anything more awesome than this scene:

Armageddon Trailer:

New York City gets blowed up real good:

Grab some crackers it’s time for the cheesiness of “Don’t Want to Miss a Thing”:

Bruce Willis: Real American Hero:

Pearl Harbor Trailer:

The start of the battle, Michael Bay must have been having withdrawl with no explosions for almost two hours in this movie:

Matt and Trey of South Park sum it up best, Pearl Harbor sucked:

Just for shits and giggles here’s “America, Fuck Yeah”:

Bad Boys II Trailer:

I have to give credit to Bad Boys II, this car chase is probably one of the best ever:

Marcus and Mike get into a shoot-out with some Haitians and the Bay camera spin is used to maximum effect:

The classic line:

I’m pretty sure I read somewhere that this was the biggest explosion ever for a movie, congrats Michael! (it’s at 4:21 in the video):

The Island Trailer:

Product placement is a little out of control in this movie:

The Island did have a pretty sweet car chase though:

Transformers Trailer:

A music video of clips from Transformers with the classic song “The Touch” by Stan Bush from Transformers: The Movie:

The Mountain Dew Bot:

Scorponok gets his ass kicked by America (fuck yeah!):

One of the coolest parts of the movie, Optimus vs. Bonecrusher:

If there’s one thing I’m hoping for in Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen it’s the Dinobots:

Well there we go, your computer might have possibly melted due to all the explosiveness so sorry about that if it did.  Remember to use the “share this” button at the bottom of this post if you like this and also check out the contact page to see where else we are on the internet.

Zach and Miri make a Porno

Starring: Seth Rogen, Elizabeth Banks, Craig Robinson, Jason Mewes

Rotten Tomatoes Freshness: 65%

Critic Consensus: “Zack and Miri Make a Porno is a modest success for Kevin Smith, due in large part to the charm of Seth Rogen and Elizabeth Banks.”

RocknRolla

Starring: Gerard Butler, Thandie Newton, Jeremy Pivens, Ludacris

RT Freshness: 57%

Critic Consensus: “Mixed reviews for Guy Ritchie’s return to his London-based cockney wideboy gangster movie roots, but most agree, it’s a step in the right direction following two major turkeys.”

Changeling

Starring: Angelina Jolie, John Malkovich, Jeffrey Donovan, Colm Feore

RT Freshness: 51%

Critic Consensus: “Beautifully shot and well-acted, Changeling is a compelling story that unfortunately gives in to convention too often.”

The Haunting of Molly Hartley

Starring: Chace Crawford, Annalynne McCord, Haley Bennett, Shannon Woodward

RT Freshness: N/A

Brian Orndorf: “When it comes to excruciating Halloween activities, I think I’d prefer a Milky Way/razor blade surprise to this asinine, pathetic motion picture.”

So there’s your new choices for the weekend, check back later today for a new Trailer Park post and remember if you’re liking what you see on the site be sure to use the “share this” button.