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Trailer Park: Red Bandapalooza

By Zach

Trailer Park

This week in the Trailer Park; Two new red band trailers for The Happening and Tropic Thunder, A new Hulk trailer, City of Ember and the teaser for The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor.

The Happening

Zach: Wow, effed up is pretty much the best way to describe that trailer. M. Night must have realized that no one wants to see a “bedtime story” from him and he’s just going balls out with the violence. A dude let himself get run over by a combine for god’s sake. I think I’m more interested now based on this trailer, the plot of something causing everyone to flip out and not knowing what it is is creepy and interesting at the same time.

Brian: M. Night has had two previous stinkers, but the trailers for The Happening make it look like he’s taking a step into the right direction. The best part I found is that the mystery seems to be the twist itself. Rather than guessing all along, it’s right there from the get go. Could be a surprise this summer.

Tropic Thunder

Zach: So, our other Red Band trailer of the week with an f-bomb, blood filled look at Tropic Thunder. It features a lot more of Robert Downey Jr., who is hilarious in it. I’ve become 100% a RDJ fan from Iron Man and I’m sure he, along with Jack Black and Ben Stiller, can bring some funny. If it’s half as good as Zoolander, which is one of Stiller’s other directing credits, then it should be pretty good. “The only good part for a black actor and they give it to Crocodile Dundee.” “That man is a national treasure.”

Brian: Downey Jr’s black method acting is hilariously racist. I mentioned before about being sick of Stiller, Black, et al but I think this movie might be pretty decent. Red-band trailer doesn’t sway my opinion either way.

The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor

Zach: Finally, the trailer for the sequel no one wanted, The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor. Brendan Fraser heads to China to fight off a new mummy (played by Jet Li) and apparently Jet Li raises an army of undead warriors and there’s a sorceress or something (played by Michelle Yeoh) and the only other hold out from the first two besides Fraser is Jonh Hannah as Jonathan. Maria Bello and some kid named Luke Ford fill out the cast. It basically seems like a rehash of The Mummy Returns but with an Asian dressing over it. As the final nail in the coffin it’s being directed by Rob Cohen, the mastermind who gave us The Fast and The Furious and XXX.

Brian: Not a big fan.. or even a FAN, really, of The Mummy movies. The fact that this feels like a money-milking third film doesn’t help. Who was the numbnuts that thought “A ROB COHEN FILM” would make people want to see this movie?!

City of Ember

Zach: Hey look!, it’s another random children’s book that has been turned into a movie! Thanks for opening the floodgates, Narnia! Anyhoo, this movie looks kind of interesting, a city had to built underground to protect mankind for 200 years, and 200 years are up. Tim Robbins shows up playing the same creepy guy he plays in a lot of movies, War of the Worlds comes to mind. And Bill Murray is in it for some reason. Also, someone on the crew has obviously played the game Bioshock.

Brian: This trailer is so boring I can’t think of anything remotely clever to say about it. Oh, I got it! They should’ve retitled this movie “Tim Robbins and Bill Murray Pick Up a Paycheck”. Meh… good enough.

The Incredible Hulk

Zach: You know what’s kinda sad? There was more action in that three minute trailer than in the entirety of Ang Lee’s abortion of a film. So, my excitement for Hulk has jumped up a bit after Iron Man, everything’s connected and all roads lead to The Avengers(!!!!!!!!!!!) Plus you have a pretty great cast, Tim Roth is evil as usual, Ed Norton is on the run, Liv Tyler is there to look hot and William Hurt is rocking a phat stache. So hopefully it’s good and if it isn’t I’ll just reread World War Hulk and wait for Iron Man 2 and Thor in 2010.

Brian: Trailer for this before “Iron Man” made me more stoked. Backstage battle between Ed Norton and the studio suits bums me out. Still feel pretty excited though.

So that’s it for this week, keep watching the site for all sorts of fun stuff, like our Fourth of July special with Independence Day.

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