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Real Men of Action: John McClane

By Zach

Real Men of Action

  • Name: John McClane
  • Occupation: NYPD
  • Family: Wife- Holly Gennaro McClane Daughter- Lucy McClane Son- John “Jack” McClane Jr.
  • Enemies: Hans Gruber, Simon Gruber, Col. Stuart,Thomas Gabriel
  • Allies: Al Powell, Zeus Carver, Matt Farrell
  • Weapon(s) of Choice: Beretta 92F, H&K HK94
  • Body Count: over 46
  • Catchphrase: “Yippee Kay Yay Motherfucker!”

John McClane always seems to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.  The first time he was heading to an office Christmas party to see his wife Holly when the building is attacked by terrorists led by Hans Gruber, who actually want to rob Nakatomi Tower’s safe.  John takes out the terrorists one at a time and barefoot, which doesn’t work out so great when he has to cross some broken glass.  He eventually saves the day with a little help from LAPD officer Alan Powell and Hans Gruber gets dropped out of a window of the skyscraper.

Two years later John has another bad Christmas when he has to stop a group of disgruntled US soldiers from blowing up planes at Dulles airport and helping a drug lord get to Val Verde.  John gets the shit kicked out of him again but manages to blow up the bad guys 747 on the runway.

Five years after that incident John has another bad day when Hans Gruber’s brother Simon comes to NYC to try and get revenge on John and steal the federal reserve gold.  After posing a series of challenges and riddle to John and hesitant partner Zeus Carver, they find Simon on a freighter that is rigged to explode.  The two escape just in time and chase Simon to Canada, where he and his men have escaped with the gold.  John manages to shoot a cable off of a neon sign and Simon’s helicopter gets caught in it and explodes.

John’s latest adventure was 12 years after that in 2007.  John is asked to pick up a computer hacker named Matt Farrell, who might have information about a number of cyber attacks that have started to occur across the country.  The attacks are carried out by Thomas Gabriel, a former computer expert for the government who was fired.  John engages in some of his craziest stunts yet including blowing up a helicopter with a police car and riding atop a Harrier jet.  Eventually he tracks down Gabriel, who has his daughter Lucy, and kills him by firing his gun through his own shoulder.  Now that is the definition of bad ass.  John might just stumble into these situations but he always sees them through to the end.

See John in Action:

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