It’s been a while since we’ve had an Everything Action Theater entry but, man, do we have a doosy right here. Cool As Ice was the first (and last) starring vehicle for one Vanilla Ice, who stars as Johnny, leader of a motorcycle gang who roll into a small town where Johnny becomes infatuated with the WASPy Kathy. Unfortunately, Kathy’s father is in witness protection after he ratted out a couple of his fellow police officers for corruption but a local news report about Kathy’s achievements cause the corrupt cops to come looking for revenge. There’s way too many awesomely bad scenes to list, from Ice trying to impress Kathy by jumping his cycle in front of her horse, almost killing her, to Ice’s classic line of “Drop that Zero and get with the Hero”. If there was a hall of fame for awesomely bad, cheesy movies, Cool as Ice would be one of the first inaugurated. Check out the whole crazy thing below, courtesy of Hulu.
I’m like the J. Jonah Jameson of Everything Action, writing and editing and constantly demanding pictures of Spider-Man.