Dolph Lundgren’s version of He-Man has all your favorite characters like Beast Man, Teela, Skeletor and…Courtney Cox. Actually, Dolph’s version is almost unrecognizable from the goofy cartoon that was created to sell a massive amount of toys, as it finds He-Man briefly battling Skeletor (Frank Langella) on Eternia before being banished to the suburbs of Anytown, USA to recover a strange synthesizer/portal key. It’s influences are also strangely skewed, as it’s trying to be more Star Wars than Conan:
Everything is just weirdly dark and gritty and it feels like it’s basically made for no one, as the parents who take their kids will probably find it stupid and boring while the kids will be wondering why it’s not colorful and where characters like Trap Jaw and Stinkor are.
There are much better movies from the same era like Flash Gordon and Krull that do what Masters of the Universe is trying to do much better but Masters of the Universe is on Netflix, so we got liquored up and checked it out for a commentary you’ll hear at the end of the month.
I’m like the J. Jonah Jameson of Everything Action, writing and editing and constantly demanding pictures of Spider-Man.