Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales
Starring: Johnny Depp, Javier Bardem, Geoffrey Rush, Brenton Thwaites, Kaya Scodelario, Orlando Bloom
Directed by: Espen Sandberg, Joachim Rønning
Plot: Captain Jack Sparrow searches for the trident of Poseidon while being hunted by ghost pirate Captain Salazar
Rotten Tomatoes Freshness: 31%
Critic Consensus: “Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales proves that neither a change in directors nor an undead Javier Bardem is enough to drain this sinking franchise’s murky bilge”
Starring: Dwayne Johnson, Zac Effron, Alexandria Daddario, Kelly Rohrbach, Jon Bass, Priyanka Chopra, Ilfenesh Hadera
Directed by: Seth Gordon
Plot: Devoted lifeguard Mitch Buchannon butts heads with a brash new recruit. Together, they uncover a local criminal plot that threatens the future of the Bay.
RT Freshness: 19%
Critic Consensus: “Baywatch takes its source material’s jiggle factor to R-rated levels, but lacks the original’s campy charm — and leaves its charming stars flailing in the shallows”
I’m like the J. Jonah Jameson of Everything Action, writing and editing and constantly demanding pictures of Spider-Man.