You’ve seen our Top Ten lists for the best movies of 2011 but now it’s time to see what we thought were the five worst movies of 2011, and there were lots of possible candidates.
Joe’s Top Five Worst
5. The Adjustment Bureau
4. Conan the Barbarian
3. Green Lantern
2. Apollo 18
1. Super 8
Chris’ Top Five Worst
5. Monte Carlo
4. The Dilemna
3. Zoo Keeper
2. Paranormal Activity 3
1. Apollo 18
Zach’s Top Five Worst
5. Green Lantern- Even if the bar hadn’t been set high by the Marvel movies of the summer, Green Lantern would have still been a disaster. Ryan Reynolds was at his most douchey and the plot felt like it was fired out of a shotgun. The final fight was kind of cool but one action sequence isn’t enough to save a mess of a movie.
4. The Thing- If you didn’t think a prequel to John Carpenter’s classic was necessary, you definitely will after watching this year’s awful attempt at it. Adding nothing to the mythology and barely paying lip service to the original with a lazy set up to original at the end, the new Thing also ignored the best aspects of the original, compelling characters and an amazing atmosphere of dread and paranoia. Also, way too much CG.
3. Colombiana- Trying to set up Zoe Saldana as the next action heroine, Colombiana turned out to be a generic action bomb where every character is a moron and the only way the plot moves forward is through coincidence and stupidity. Even the awesome Lennie James can’t save this stupid movie.
2. Apollo 18- Do you find the concept of living moon rocks horrifying? If so, then Apollo 18 was probably the scariest movie of the year for you but for the other 99% of the population, Apollo 18 was a massive bore that tried to capitalize on the found footage trend. The only saving grace was the fact that the footage looked authentically 60’s but the constant shifting of cameras and style quickly got annoying and the ultimate payoff was incredibly weak.
1. Sucker Punch- Coming out of Comic Con, Sucker Punch looked it could potentially be awesome with Zack Snyder being completely unleashed to make crazy action sequences featuring robots, Nazi zombies, samurai and dragons but the end product was 20% cool action, 80% horrible drama, girls crying and implied rape, not exactly a fun time at the theater. The acting was basically non-existant, the action sequences featured covers of great songs that got butchered and the movie felt it was way more clever than it actually was with it’s poor man’s attempt at Inception’s “dream within a dream” realities. It seems like Zack Snyder should just stick with directing adaptations of other people’s work.
I’m like the J. Jonah Jameson of Everything Action, writing and editing and constantly demanding pictures of Spider-Man.