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Steven Seagal to Join Expendables 3?

“Kids love the Twitters,” said every aging advertising executive ever.

Well, apparently, so does the leader of the Expendables. That’s right, one of our patron saints and beloved action hero demigods, Sylvester Stallone, took to Twitter recently to unload a barrage of Expendables 3 updates on us.

According to Sly’s Twitter feed, Jackie Chan and Wesley Snipes are good to go for Expendables 3, which is awesome in our opinion. Those are arguably two of the biggest missing pieces from the prestigious Expendables roster thus far.

But there remains one bone-snapping, thug-flipping, law-bending, mojo-priesting badass missing from the equation.

Steven. F**king. Seagal.

"I brought my own gear. Hope you don't mind."
“I brought my own gear. Hope you don’t mind.”

According to Sly’s Twitter account, he spoke with Mr. Seagal on May 17th and again, in Moscow, on the 19th. Apparently, “Steven S.” is on board for Expendables 3 as long as the part fits.

I don’t know about you guys, but we’re pretty FREAKING jazzed about this news. Sure, the memes and “best of” clips are pretty funny, and out of context, the Mojo Priest pictures are pretty hilarious, too. But at the end of the day, Steven Seagal is a legendary badass. Go watch Marked for DeathOut for JusticeAbove the Law, or Hard to Kill and tell me that Steven Seagal is somehow not worthy of being an Expendable. You can’t.

If you ask me, as cool as it would be to have Seagal as a cameo-assist in a similar fashion to Chuck Norris in Expendables 2, I’d prefer to see him in a villain role a-la JCVD. Van Damme’s performance, for my money, was the best in the film, and was very surprising for how dark JCVD could get as a bad guy. Though Seagal has been a villain before, I think he would be a supremely worthy opponent for Stallone and the rest of the Expendables crew.

Directed by Patrick Hughes (Red Hill), Expendables 3 will hopefully blast its way into theaters sometime in 2014.

Sly, if you’re out there, there’s only one other person we want to see in the Expendables 3, if ya smell what we’re cooking

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