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For ISIS Eyes Only: Smugglers’ Blues

By Zach


Archer takes it upon himself to try and strike up a deal with Colombia’s biggest drug kingpin, La Madrina aka The Godmother.

Forcing Ray and Cyril to join him, the trio flies down to Colombia where Archer uses his spy skills to get drunk on snake tequilla at a cantina and blatantly ask if anyone knows who La Madrina is.  He also wins a bet for 100 pesos by throwing himself through a window.


The patrons of the cantina call in some sort of para-military troops and Archer manages to take out their lookout


and has Cyril remove the distributor cap of their truck, but he removes the windshield wiper fluid cap instead, so the truck is able to easily catch up with them but La Madrina, who is insanely attractive despite her matronly nickname, arrives as well and forces the troops to back off and takes the trio to her mansion.


After testing the purity of the cocaine, Archer has an insane night of sex with La Madrina but learns the next morning that she is an undercover cop and the trio are arrested and on their way to the most notorious prison in South America.

The rest of ISIS team tries to find them and Kreiger realizes they are in Colombia from a “Snacklesnap” picture, since they don’t have access to any sort of satellite or even cable.  When Ray doesn’t answer his phone, due to some sort of elaborate messaging prank by archer, Lana gets worried and they might have to head down and rescue them.

  • Obscure Pop Culture Reference of the Week: After jumping through the cantina window, Archer gives a shout out to Hal Needham, stunt legend and director of Smokey and the Bandit
  • Pam’s Snacklesnap is all pictures of cocaine pudding
  • “Don’t you have a tractor pull to be headlining?”
  • The gang who couldn’t sell cocaine straight


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