Tag Archives: cheryl

Archer is on the Highway to Danger Island in April (Trailer)

While on one hand, it’s strange and a little disappointing that the new season of Archer is another “dream” season inside Archer’s comatose mind, on the other hand, parrot Kreiger.  The new season of Archer is subtitled Danger Island and transports and transforms the crew into a 30’s/40’s pulp tropical island setting with Archer as an eye patch wearing sky pirate who gets roped into a crazy plot involving the rest of the Archer cast.  Even if nothing will have any meaningful impact on the “real world” of Archer, this looks like a ton of fun with an Indiana Jones/Talespin sort of feel and it seems a bit lighter than Archer: Dreamland last season. Danger Island starts on April 25th and you can check out the trailer below.

Archer is a Private Dick in Archer: Dreamland (Trailer)

Last season of Archer ended on a pretty significant cliffhanger but it seems like we may have to wait another season for the resolution as the gang is getting transformed into 1940’s noir versions of themselves in the new season, Archer: Dreamland.  Archer takes on the role of a private investigator who is looking into the murder of his partner Woodhouse while Cheryl is a new client, Lana is a lounge singer/stand up with Ray as part of her backup band, Mallory is the biggest mobster in LA and Pam and Cyril are cop partners.  Despite the time period, the gang seems like their still up to their old tricks and it should hopefully be great as always.  The new season starts in April on FXX and you can check out the trailer below.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B2KxL7pEy8s

The Pull List One Shot: Archie vs Predator #1

In his vast history, Archie has gotten into some bizarre situations like being hunted by The Punisher, meeting Kiss and, most recently, trying to survive a zombie apocalpyse but now he’s up against the galaxy’s greatest hunter in a cross over extravaganza from Dark Horse and Archie Comics.

It’s spring break in Riverdale and Jughead wins a trip from a bag of potato chips that allows the entire gang to head to the tropical paradise of Los Peridos.  Engaging in some typical Archie hijinks, including a fashion contest to determine who will be the best dressed girl for the yearbook, Betty gets humiliated after a fight with Veronica and ends up in a mysterious temple that the alpha rich Riverdale couple of Cheryl and Jason were going to loot.  Betty finds an ancient dagger and reunites with the group, but none of them notice that the Predator has arrived and has begun a new hunt, with Betty and Veronica as the newest targets after witnessing their scuffle.

This first issue is definitely more Archie than Predator, with the usual Archie gags of Jughead being constantly hungry, Archie flip flopping between Betty and Veronica, Veronica being a bitch, etc.  Resident dick Reggie does quote Jesse Ventura at one point, but that’s the only overt reference so far.  The art is also the usual cartoony Archie style and it’s fun to see the Predator done in that style but it’s a pleasant surprise that things aren’t watered down when it comes to the intergalactic hunter.  He’s still ripping out spines and and hanging corpses, which the Archie gang is hilariously oblivious too.  It seems like they are kind of easing into the whole Archie vs Predator angle and next issue, where the Predator comes home to Riverdale, should hopefully up the crazy level and maybe possibly see some of the main gang fall victim to the alien hunter.  If you read Afterlife with Archie, you know that they did not not skimp on the gore or darker themes, as the first issue features a zombie Jughead violently attacking Archie.

As a bonus in the book, there’s also a one page backup that features a Sabrina meeting Hellboy.

If you’re in the weird middle ground of the venn diagram that includes both Archie and Predator fans, it’s probably worth checking out at least the first issue.  If you’re in more for the Predator side of things, I would say maybe hold off until there’s a trade and you can hear just how much the book lives up to it’s title.

(Archie vs Predator #1 is available right now at comic shop near you or at https://digital.darkhorse.com/)

 

For ISIS Eyes Only: The Rules of Extraction

After running afoul of drug kingpin/undercover cop La Madrina last episode, Archer, Ray and Cyril think they are on their way to La Calabra, South America’s most infamous prison, while Mallory seems genuinely worried about her son.

On the road to the prison, the guys learn that La Madrina’s men are simply going to kill them and dump their bodies in the jungle.  Whether it’s Archer’s dumb luck or the guards cockiness, either way, the jeep goes flying off a cliff when a cow appears in the road and after a brutal, seemingly never ending crash, the guys are left with a paralyzed, yet again, Ray and two unconscious guards.

Back at Tunt Manor, Mallory is getting increasingly worried and tense and not even Archer’s elaborate rave starting phone message can help.

Lana tries to get Pam and Cheryl to give Mallory a spa day (and not “get incredibly drunk dress like Mr. Archer and bang her with a strap on” like Pam suggests), but things get weird when they realize they’re involved in some weird sex chain with each other.

Back in the jungle, Archer faces his one of his greatest fears, crocodiles, and builds a raft to transport himself, Ray, Cyril and the guards to safety but his fear becomes reality when a trio of hungry crocs attack the raft and eat the guards.

Archer tries to blow them up using a gas can but only succeeds in spilling some gas on the boat, which Ray then lights with the match from his cigarette.  Archer douses everyone with gas to avoid the crocs and they make it ashore.  Archer’s luck holds out when they stumble onto a drug smuggling air field and manage to capture the crew running it, although the pilot is killed.  Ray reveals he’s been faking being paralyzed the entire time to prove a point to Archer and then pilots them back home with a plane full of fresh cocaine.

  • Obscure Pop Culture Reference of the Week: When Cyril asks Archer if he’s going to jump the guards and hit them with shovels as they dig their own grave, Archer responds, “No Cyril, this isn’t an episode of BJ and the Bear!”
  • Archer has a shockingly in depth knowledge of the various crocodile species living in the South American rivers.
  • He also is some sort of genius with phone and electrical systems, at least when it comes to pranking.  Even Kreiger is impressed with how Archer rigged the house to turn into a rave whenever someone called him from the mansion landline.
  • “Eat a dick jungle!”
  • Cyril hopes the drug smugglers are Doctors without Borders, “Yeah Cyril, I bet those assault rifles shoot polio vaccine”
  • “Fear is their bacon bits!”
  • Archer is totally trying to get “Phrasing” back into the group’s vernacular

For ISIS Eyes Only: House Call

Another episode that takes place entirely in Tunt Manor this week, but as Dr. Kreiger and Cyril discover, so there’s so many creepy, unexplored sections of the mansion, I would probably be fine if the whole season took place there.

Pam is still a raging coke fiend, although it’s had the side effect of slimming down her waist line.  The team realizes they have to get her clean before either A) she kills herself or B) eats all the cocaine.  Pam is not receptive to an intervention and no one wants to go through with Mallory’s plan to bake her a cake of cocaine to “send her out with dignity” but Dr. Kreiger arrives and reveals he has a new, smaller microchip that they can inject into Pam’s brain and stop her addiction.  Before they can do that though, Pam breaks free, Incredible Hulk style, grabs Cheryl and runs off deep into the mansion.  Kreiger has an arsenal of tranquilizer darts and the group sets out to hunt Pam down but FBI Agent Holly arrives to make sure no illegal activity is happening.  Holly is free to wander the mansion because Woodhouse invited him in and:

Lana goes to make sure Holly doesn’t find the cocaine and contemplates turning everyone in to save herself and her baby but realizes she can’t leave and betray the group.  She and Archer actually have a some what serious heart to heart (even though Archer hints at getting a blow job/rim job) conversation and the day is saved when they discover a rotating wall in the area they are storing the coke in.  The group puts Pam down and spins the wall away so Holly is none the wiser.

Kreiger and Cyril then have a decision, since they only have one microchip, to either cure Pam’s addiction, but lose her new slim and busty self, or cure Cheryl’s stage fright and turn her into a country superstar.

Archer is also going to head out to track down some of ISIS’ old international contacts and try sell the cocaine to a cartel.  The show is off for 3 weeks, so we’ll see you back here then.

  • Obscure Pop Culture Reference of the Week: Archer references Popeye Doyle from The French Connection when they are discussing trying to get Pam clean and also refers specifically to Lou Ferigno’s Hulk when talking about how crazy strong Pam is.
  • Unlike his fellow former spy in Miami, Michael Westen, Archer has never had yogurt but seems to enjoy Pam’s cocaine filled version, although he’s concerned children are eating it.
  • Archer also quotes the infamous drug PSA, “I learned it from watching you!”
  • Cyril’s use of the Metric System to describe their remaining coke rubs off on the rest of the team as they constantly correct themselves for the rest of the episode
  • Apparently all Ray needs to walk again is a couple of button presses to reboot his robotic leg system
  • Shockingly, Archer has no idea about any of the various forms of pornography because “I have sex with real women Cyril!”,  but he did research every possible complication that could occur for Lana’s pregnancy.
  • Apparently the group is done with their “Phrasing!” catchphrase whenever a double entendre is said, so Archer tries out “As Ripley said to the android Bishop” as a substitute.

 

For ISIS Eyes Only: A Debt of Honor

We’re only officially in the second episode of Archer Vice but things are already spiraling hilariously out of control.

Still stuck with the counterfeit bills from last week, Cyril says they are high quality fakes, so they could use them to buy something.  Archer suggests they buy 50 Cadillacs to start a dealership, because Ron (who makes his first appearance this season) is doing well, but the gang eventually settles on getting weapons and set about trying to find an arms dealer from the ISIS files but Pam, completely addicted and hopped up on cocaine, takes the money and buys amphetamines from the Yakuza, who realize they are counterfeit and demand the drugs and Pam’s head to settle the insult to their honor.

Cheryl reveals that one of her crazy great uncles has an arsenal of old guns that the gang could use if the Yakuza storm the mansion but after Ron takes a shot to the gut, Cheryl also reveals that another of her crazy great uncles built tunnels going from the mansion to all over NYC in an attempt to find the Underground Railroad, which he believed was an actual railroad run by slaves.

Cyril, Pam and Cheryl get Ron to the hospital while Archer puts on his “slightly darker suit” and uses another tunnel to sneak his way to limo with the Yakuza boss, Mr. Moto (voiced by special guest George Takei) and after a fight with his driver, manages to make a deal with Mr. Moto to leave them alone in exchange for the cocaine (I’m not 100% sure if the gang gets to keep the amphetamines as I was as distracted as Mr. Moto by Archer’s constant shooting of his Winchester 1887 into Mr. Moto’s ear).  I’m sure this isn’t the first organized crime the gang will run into this season.

  • Obscure Pop Culture Reference of the Week: It was a visual gag but since he’s using a Winchester 1887 as a weapon for most of the episode, Archer, of course, reloads it by flipping it like Arnold did in Terminator 2.

  • Archer’s original plan to get real money is to buy gum from a deli and get $99.50 in change. Cyril tells him he’ll have to do this 10,000 times and they’ll still be short.
  • Ron Cadillac smoked reefer one time in the 40’s with some cool “Negro jazz cats”
  • Archer and the Yakuza are both fans of the Price is Right “wrong” sound app.
  • Archer gets real while he’s sneaking into Mr. Moto’s limo by realizing he’s been shot at least 26 times and probably will be “mad as a hatter” by the time he’s 60 due to lead poisoning.
  • Unfortunately, there isn’t a Scrooge McDuckesque vault in Cheryl’s mansion, but there is an old timey gym that currently has Woodhouse trapped under a medicine ball.
  • “My point…unless Pam ate it!”

For ISIS Eyes Only: A Kiss While Dying

We are officially into Archer Vice now and the first job for the ISIS crew’s new cocaine business is for Archer, Lana and Pam to head down to Miami to sell their first 20 kilos of coke to a buyer Mallory has set up.  The gang is also all living together in Cheryl’s mansion, except Mallory, who of course hid all her assets so the government couldn’t take them like everyone else.

Since Dr. Kreiger didn’t create a magical way to smuggle cocaine without it being detected, the gang’s plan B is to create a giant body cast of cocaine for Pam to wear on the plane to Miami, letting the drugs seep into her skin and pretty much guaranteeing she’s going to be a hilarious, cocaine fueled monster for the rest of the season.  When the gang gets to Miami, they find out that their contact is Ramone, who Archer met way back in season 1 when he first tried to “seduce” him and then protected him from assassins sent by Fidel Castro.  Ramone wants to buy the club across from his small food stand he’s been running since going into hiding and Archer is instantly excited for it to be ISIS’s Miami office.  The deal goes bad when it’s revealed the buyers are Charles and Rudy, the gay hitmen who tried to kill Ramone.  They steal the drugs and the money and the gang regroups and tries to break in to the couple’s house to get the money back.  Things go bad and Ramone, Charles and Rudy are all killed in a shootout, which Lana gets to just in time to see Archer giving Ramone one last kiss.  Back in NYC, Cyril reveals that the money is counterfeit and it was all a convoluted (and dumb, dumb, dumb according to Charles) plan by Ramone to get the drugs and keep ISIS from looking for them again.

While all that was going on, Cheryl is also driving Ray into a drunken stupor as her country vocal coach but the crew is shocked to learn that she has a great voice when she thinks no one is watching.  Get ready for the debut of Cherlene!

  • Obscure Reference of the Week: Archer thinks that the body casts smell like a “Skunk Ape” after cutting them off of Pam.
  • Only Pam could just straight up eat cocaine.
  • According to Mallory, Miami has “90% of all mosquitoes and Cubans”
  • “Potato Potreason”